I know it is not good and I am not supposed to say that;
Still, I just want to shout that out... .... ...It just brought me back to the same situation I have when I tendered my resignation 9 months ago;
I feel.... .... .... demotivated by whatever negative messages my superior said to me;
pressured for the ever increasing workloads;
frustrated by the people problems;
weary by the tight / hectic working schedules and long working hours;
worst, work so hard / much, return never get proportionately to my contribution.
Once again, these devastating emotion just crushed my heart that I just hate it......
However, I will remember this feeling. So that I can work towards my personal goals in order for myself to run away from "THE HELL".
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Later in the same day, I went to KLCC to listen to a symphony orchestra perfomance by Malaysia Philmornic Orchestra. It is a beautiful evening cause the MPO was giving the performance under the baton of MuHai Tang. One of the music they played, is the popular chinese "Festive Overture" composed by late chinese composer Mr Lee Huan Zi. I used to listen to this music 22,000 times (may be more) with my music lover friends during my secondary schooling time. We used to have a wonderful time together when I was in the Chinese Orchestra in my secondary shcool. We just approached music with a pure and innocent mind. Nothing more than that, and doing what we love and passionate about.
Just like MuHai Tang and all the other musician performed this evening, I believe, they are doing what they like. But, I am not. Every single day is a challenging day for me, my emotion and mood can swing from the top to the valley and shoot up to the sky again. It all depends my works.... .... .... When working in such environment, argument, disagreement, politics, people problems, are all unavoidable. And I am suprised that most of my collegues simply carried too much negative energy with them, many just complain, complain, complain, and complain. I just wonder how these things surrounded me can affect my mind actually. I almost can not remember how do I feel when I listen to a piece of music during my secondary school. I just lost it... ... ...
Day by day, I am becoming more and more melancholic... .... ... sometimes.
It takes a while for me to pull everything together. And I will remember all these bad feeling, so that it will reinforce my decision to realise my dream.
I will do that, and I will realise my dream.
p/s: Realise your dream in here. http://oneyearplan.net/Andrew